I'm gonna make you sweat

The way a pig sweats on a hot day

'Cos I'm feeling real sexy baby

Real Sexy, oohh yeah!

That's right, I'm gonna put me a sexy video on

I'm gonna massage some oil into my body baby

'Cos I'm gonna get tight with you

Yeah.



I wanna take you to Mcdonalds with a candle

Girl, it's my love you can't handle

I see you walking on the way home from work

Your Tesco tunic really drives me berserk

I'm for real - it ain't no quirk

My love is lurking the way a rapist would lurk

In a bush, or a car park in town

I bought you this necklace

It cost me 12 pounds

From Argos, Elizabeth Duke

Maybe you're the skywalker to my luke

The Darth to the Vader

Flip Over the Crossfader

I'll serenade you with a bag of space raiders

Or walkers or smiths or maybe even quavers

'Cos my love for you is like drugs for ravers

With glowsticks and funny hats on

I loves you more than I loves my bong



(Fantasy!)



You and me baby

....Baby



Oh you f**king knows I love you right

But the thing is it's like this

You see, I can feel it inside

I can't explain how it feels

My sexual love is for real

Girl you knows it's true, like Milli Vanilli

I'll buy you ten fags on a daytrip to Caerphilly

I'm after your heart, Oh don't you see

And your three kids doesn't bother me

You Know....



I'll give you a rose, pull out your chair when we eat

F**k I can't, 'cos In McDonalds it's a bolted seat

Don't matter 'cos I'm here with you

With a medium value meal and a chocolate sundae too

Later on I'll come and help you sign on

I'll stare into your eyes, the housing benefits gone wrong

Don't worry baby it won't take too long

I'm just sitting, I'm just waiting, I'm just writing this song

You know that, time passes and I'm loving every second

Buying chips for you is as lovely as I reckoned

You're Victoria Spice, I'm David Beckham

If you were Dellboy, I'd be the streets of Peckham

Why don't you come to me, why can't you see

My love for you is like Matt Bolan to a tree



(Dance with me!)



You and me baby

....baby

tonight



I'll take you for a ride, we won't go far

You've been running through my mind like a shining star

We've got plenty of time to make sweet love

'cos tonight's the night we take off the glove

You know what I mean, you're taking the pill

Don't worry - I'll sort out the bill

Supported by the DHSS

With family allowance, We'll sort out the mess

What's it gonna take, to get your attention

A tracksuit and gold chain and semi-erection

Say no more, I can feel a tear

You can smokes my fags and drinks my beer



I'll never want another like I want you

To prove my love, I gotta tattoo - on my bollocks

I was gonna have your name

but I only got initials

'cos I couldn't stand the pain



(My physical love!)



You and me baby

....baby

tonight



(The emotional reality!)



You're the nicest looking woman outside of my sexmags

Especially with your makeup, when your wearing your gladrags

I gotta tell you, I gotta let you know

I wanna buy you trips down the mecca bingo

We'll sit together, get four in a row

And win a china dog and with it too a family show

This is romance, how it should be done

When it's you and me together, it can only spell fun

We'll walk together, buy some meat in the market

I'll piss on the car, you'll smile and park it

I've got to tell you about something I think

Without you and my chain I'm the weakest link

So get down baby and feel my love

I'll get you drunk in Weatherspoons, Into a bush I shove

I'll have a grope and get the last bus

A romantic date, just the two of us



Yeah, one time



You and me baby

....baby

tonight



(Electrical Love!)



You and me baby

....baby

tonight



I'm feeling kind of

Kind of sexy baby

What say you put on that exercise video

And I'll watch you sweat

Oh yeah!

That damn video with Felicity Kendal

Damn you can....

And your making me feel kinda

Itchy!

I'm gonna go put the mask and gloves on

Oh yeah

Take em off baby

Just take them

F**k the music baby

Take them Off

Just, take them off

Just, oh freak this shit man

Turn the f**king tape off man